I'm angry

I'm angry today.

I'm agonizing over yet another suicide of a young gay teen in Tennessee. It's the second loss in as many months. Phillip died because he could not escape the endless bullying from his peers. He died because he lived in a world where being gay made him a target. He died scared, hopeless and alone. 

Will Batts is the Executive Director of the
Memphis Gay & Lesbian Community Center.

I feel a rage building inside me. This is not the world we want for our kids. This is not an environment where LGBTQ kids can prosper and succeed. You know what it's like. Those of you who grew up gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer...you know what it's like to be afraid, to be bullied, to be ridiculed, to feel alone. Some of us had it worse than others. But most of us have felt that knot in the pit of our stomachs when someone finds out we're not straight. We all remember the anxiety the first time we said to another person "I have something to tell you" or "I have a secret." Many of us remember feeling afraid for our safety. Some of us have survived damaging abuse. I can only imagine the pain that led Phillip and too many others to want an end to their suffering. But WE CANNOT let that be the end of the story. We CANNOT let suicide be the way that our kids find relief. 

All of us who work for LGBTQ equality in Tennessee want this to end. We want a better world for our kids and our friends. But this is not about us today. This is not a request to donate to MGLCC. This is a request for your voice and your presence. 

We have a legislature that actively targets the LGBTQ community. We have a legislature that wants us to be hidden and silent and ostracized. We have a legislature that wants to give religious exemptions to bullies. We have a legislature that wants teachers prohibited from even acknowledging our existence. These horrific laws must be stopped. Their passage means a perpetuation of the dangerous environment where our kids find no relief or refuge. 

YOU have an opportunity to make a difference. See...part of the problem is that we don't have enough folks raising their voices and shouting that this must end. I know it can be scary to take a stand. Doing so might threaten our jobs, our position in the community, or simply make us uncomfortable. But somewhere in Tennessee, in a small town of 2,000 people, there is a little kid who needs each one of us to stand up to our legislators and say "STOP! Stop targeting our community. Stop making it easier to hurt our kids. Stop denying us equal protection. Stop attacking our right to live in peace!" 

Tennessee Equality Project coordinates a day for us to speak one-on-one to our legislators. This is the 8th year for Advancing Equality Day on the Hill. The date is Tuesday, March 13, in Nashville. I am asking each one of you to show up that day and respectfully demand that our legislature stop targeting our community. We have people in our city, and in small towns all over this state, who are looking to us to lead. They are praying for some kind of relief. They need our help. We won't be able to stop this overnight. But neither can we wait for a better time to fight. The attacks on our community must end.

Signed,

Will Batts

Executive Director

Memphis Gay & Lesbian Community Center 

Reprinted with permission.

TEP responds to tragedy in Gordonsville

As TEP leaders, members and supporters grieve the loss of  Phillip Parker in Gordonsville, Tennessee Equality Project is taking steps to respond to the tragedy. Here's what we are doing:

TEP joins the family and friends of
Phillip Parker in grieving a senseless loss. 

1. TEP has contacted Smith County School Superintendent Roger Lewis and District Principals to advocate for more teacher training and revision of school anti-bullying policy.  We are offering TEP Foundation's LGBT diversity and cultural competency training.  We've asked the administration to work with their school board to  expand the list of differentiating characteristics in their anti-bullying policy to include sexual orientation and gender identity. We've shared research with the administration that demonstrates how taking these steps can lead to improving educational and health outcomes for all students. 
2. TEP is engaging the media to make sure the public is aware of the issue and the connection to bad state legislation such as the "License to Bully" bill and the "Don't Say G_y" bill.  
3. TEP Upper Cumberland Committee is holding a Candlelight Vigil in Cookeville on Thursday at 8 PM in solidarity with gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender youth.  
4. TEP is actively fighting negative state legislation through professional lobbying strategy, generating thousands of email contacts with state legislators and the Governor, and putting together events at the Legislature to show that Tennesseans don't want discriminatory bills.  

You too can take positive steps to raise awareness about the importance of providing safe schools in your community. Here are some concrete actions you can take:

1. Write a letter to the editor of your local newspaper outlining the hazards of the "License to Bully" bill and the "Don't Say G_y" bill.
2. Make a Youtube video with your webcam or flipcam that shows your support for LGBTQ students in Tennessee. Share that video with Tennessee lawmakers and members of you local school board.  Post it on Tennessee Equality Project's Facebook Fan Page to reach a wider audience.
3. Mark your calendar for the 8th Annual Advancing Equality Day on the Hill on March 13, 2012 and plan to talk with your State Senator and Representative in Nashville about the need to confront anti-LGBT bullying in Tennessee schools.

Gordonsville student endured years of anti-gay bullying before ending his life

Late Friday night, Tennessee Equality Project began hearing reports that an 8th grader in Gordonsville in Smith County, Tennessee had completed suicide after enduring years of anti-gay bullying. Ironically, the news arrived as members of TEP's board attended the first Bully-Free Tennessee Conference in neighboring Putnam County with educators, parents and other safe school advocates.

Local news confirmed on Saturday that Phillip Parker was the 8th grader who had ended his life.

TEP Board members Jonathan Cole and
H.G. Stovall paid respects to Phillip Parker
outside his school last Sunday.

While attending Saturday's conference, H.G. Stovall and I met a former teacher who knew Phillip while he attended Gordonsville Elementary School.  Tears flowed as she told us that Philip had endured years of anti-gay bullying at the school and that bullying in general at Gordonsville Elementary School often goes unaddressed by faculty and staff. She knew of several students who had to transfer to other schools to escape the harassment. This educator also knew Phillip had endured anti-gay preaching from the pulpit of his church. 

After the conference, H.G. and I visited Gordonsville to pay our respects to Phillip. On Sunday, we laid a vase of purple flowers at a shrine outside the entrance of Gordonsville High School. Members of the community brought cards, flowers and teddy bears. Most were quiet and tearful in their grief. We were able to speak to one of Phillip's teachers. Sadly, she confirmed the same stories we had heard the day before about Philip's experience at school and at church. She recalled learning that his pastor had recently told him to "pray the devil out him, so he could be straight." His teacher also remembered that beneath his inner turmoil Philip was always smiling and would often tell his peers how beautiful they were.

We've learned from Phillip's teacher that the school invited a grief counselor to speak to faculty about information to share with the kids about the Trevor Project and other outlets for LGBT kids to seek help. She said: "I hope if nothing else, the students of our school will see how much words can hurt and how much healing can and should happen when compassion and kindness are shown to others."

While these resources are helpful, we must do more than provide crisis hotline numbers to Tennessee students who feel isolated and alone. Bullying is a problem allowed by adults. In December, we learned after the suicide of Jacob Rogers that the anti-bullying policy of Cheatham County School District did not include sexual orientation or gender identity or expression among the enumerated protections. Smith County's school district policy lacks the same protections.

A school should be a place where students feel safe and protected by the teachers and staff charged with their care. Phillip clearly had teachers who tried to watch out for him. But the educators who knew Phillip shared that not all teachers were willing to confront the anti-gay bullying that he and other students have endured in the school system.

A crisis hotline number is not a plan to address bullying. A crisis hotline number does nothing to address bullying. Smith County and other school districts in Tennessee must adopt strong anti-bullying policies with enumerated protections for students who are the most vulnerable to bullying. They must also consider data-driven tracking systems to empower administrators and teachers with the tools they need to provide a safe environment. Local school boards and the Tennessee General Assembly must address the bias that exists in our schools. Tennessee students are depending on the adults to do the right thing to protect them. Will they?