I'm angry

I'm angry today.

I'm agonizing over yet another suicide of a young gay teen in Tennessee. It's the second loss in as many months. Phillip died because he could not escape the endless bullying from his peers. He died because he lived in a world where being gay made him a target. He died scared, hopeless and alone. 

Will Batts is the Executive Director of the
Memphis Gay & Lesbian Community Center.

I feel a rage building inside me. This is not the world we want for our kids. This is not an environment where LGBTQ kids can prosper and succeed. You know what it's like. Those of you who grew up gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer...you know what it's like to be afraid, to be bullied, to be ridiculed, to feel alone. Some of us had it worse than others. But most of us have felt that knot in the pit of our stomachs when someone finds out we're not straight. We all remember the anxiety the first time we said to another person "I have something to tell you" or "I have a secret." Many of us remember feeling afraid for our safety. Some of us have survived damaging abuse. I can only imagine the pain that led Phillip and too many others to want an end to their suffering. But WE CANNOT let that be the end of the story. We CANNOT let suicide be the way that our kids find relief. 

All of us who work for LGBTQ equality in Tennessee want this to end. We want a better world for our kids and our friends. But this is not about us today. This is not a request to donate to MGLCC. This is a request for your voice and your presence. 

We have a legislature that actively targets the LGBTQ community. We have a legislature that wants us to be hidden and silent and ostracized. We have a legislature that wants to give religious exemptions to bullies. We have a legislature that wants teachers prohibited from even acknowledging our existence. These horrific laws must be stopped. Their passage means a perpetuation of the dangerous environment where our kids find no relief or refuge. 

YOU have an opportunity to make a difference. See...part of the problem is that we don't have enough folks raising their voices and shouting that this must end. I know it can be scary to take a stand. Doing so might threaten our jobs, our position in the community, or simply make us uncomfortable. But somewhere in Tennessee, in a small town of 2,000 people, there is a little kid who needs each one of us to stand up to our legislators and say "STOP! Stop targeting our community. Stop making it easier to hurt our kids. Stop denying us equal protection. Stop attacking our right to live in peace!" 

Tennessee Equality Project coordinates a day for us to speak one-on-one to our legislators. This is the 8th year for Advancing Equality Day on the Hill. The date is Tuesday, March 13, in Nashville. I am asking each one of you to show up that day and respectfully demand that our legislature stop targeting our community. We have people in our city, and in small towns all over this state, who are looking to us to lead. They are praying for some kind of relief. They need our help. We won't be able to stop this overnight. But neither can we wait for a better time to fight. The attacks on our community must end.

Signed,

Will Batts

Executive Director

Memphis Gay & Lesbian Community Center 

Reprinted with permission.

Cheatham County High School dodges questions about anti-LGBT bullying

Will Cheatham County Central High School promote
a "No Bullying Zone" for all students?

Last night, parents, students, concerned citizens and TEP Board members gathered in Ashland City, TN to participate in a meeting about suicide and suicide prevention at Cheatham County Central High School. Representatives from the Tennessee Suicide Prevention Network were on hand to provide information. TSPN shared an important resource for anyone who is contemplating suicide or knows someone who is. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) is the number to call for anyone who needs help. Program this number on your mobile phone in case you ever need it.

During the meeting, a TSPN official shared that bullying had nothing to do with Jacob Rogers’ decision to end his life last week; other factors played a greater role. However, parents and students at the meeting were not satisfied with this assessment. Many parents and a student aware of anti-LGBT bullying at the school tried to ask questions about what the school was doing to address the issue. TEP Board member H.G. Stovall asked a pointed question to Principal Glenna Barrow during the brief time that was alloted::

I asked Principal Barrow if the school’s bullying policy included explicit protections based on sexual orientation and gender identity/expression. At first, she said it did. I asked her to check the policy which she happened to hold in her hand. She read aloud the protected factors from the Cheatham County Board of Education Policy 6.304 that prohibit discrimination, harassment, bullying, and intimidation that is “sexual, racial, ethnic or religious in nature.” When she realized that sexual orientation and gender identity/expression were not specifically included, she said she interpreted the policy to cover those areas.

The meeting ended abruptly before Stovall could ask Principal Barrow if the the rest of the faculty shared her interpretation of the policy. While Principal Barrow should be applauded for her broad interpretation of the school board’s anti-bullying policy, her response points out a real problem for Cheatham County Schools, including Central High School. Without specific protections for LGBT students, how are staff supposed to know when to intervene when they witness anti-LGBT bullying? What sort of training do school staff receive on bullying? How is intolerance of LGBT students among students and faculty addressed? What safeguards are in place to protect against anti-LGBT bias at the school?

These questions show no signs of going away. Many parents were frustrated by the unwillingness of officials to answer their questions about bullying. Parents and students at last night’s meeting expressed a willingness to continue casting a bright spotlight on an issue they feel is important for ensuring a safe school for students. The school must go further than sharing a 1-800 number to provide protective factors for students who may be bullied, feel depressed or isolated, or be contemplating suicide.

Anyone interested in being a part of this change is encouraged to contact Chris Sanders or H.G. Stovall. TEP stands ready to empower parents and students in Cheatham County in their quest to bring about specific protections. If you have not already done so, I invite you to participate in TEP’s petition to the Cheatham County School Board and District Director calling for policy reform. Then share this petition with your friends and family.


- Jonathan Cole

Take action to promote safer schools in Cheatham County

Our hearts go out to the family, friends, classmates and teachers of Jacob Rogers, a student at Cheatham County Central High School in Ashland City, TN who completed suicide on December 7, 2011. A news report alleges that Jacob Rogers complained of frequent bullying at school based on sexual orientation. A friend of Jacob reported that he dropped out of school before Thanksgiving after feeling ignored by school officials.

This terrible event serves as a reminder to all parents, teachers and school administrators that they share a responsibility for supporting the well-being of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. Individuals, families, communities and the whole of society have a responsibility to promote a culture that welcomes, accepts and supports LGBT students for who they are.

During this difficult time, we encourage students, parents and teachers to take advantage of grief counseling offered by Cheatham County Central High School or other mental health resources in the community. Discussions that follow youth suicide deaths present an important opportunity to remind people — and families of LGBT youth in particular — of how important it is to love, embrace and accept their entire child for all of who they are.

Following this terrible event, Tennessee Equality Project calls upon the Cheatham County School Board to fully investigate this tragic incident and the school’s response to the bullying of Jacob Rogers. We also call upon the School Board to implement the following recommendations from GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network) for addressing anti-LGBT bullying and harassment:

1. Revise district policy to explicitly prohibit student discrimination, harassment, bullying, and intimidation based on sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression. The school district must establish an enumerated policy for unwelcomed conduct that focuses on sex, race, ethnicity, religious belief, sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression. An enumerated policy is crucial to ensure that anti-bullying policies are effective for all students.
2. Require staff trainings to enable school staff to identify and address anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying, and harassment effectively and in a timely manner.
3. Support student efforts to address anti-LGBT bullying and harassment on campus, such as the formation of a Gay-Straight Alliance or participation in events such as the National Day of Silence and Ally Week. GSAs in schools have proven effective in reducing violence and harassment of LGBT students.
4. Institute age-appropriate, inclusive curricula to help students understand and respect difference within the school community and society as a whole.

Send a message to the Cheatham County School Board to ask them to take positive steps in response to this tragedy.


- Jonathan Cole

Senator Campfield targets LGBT youth with potentially anti-GSA bill

Sen. Stacey Campfield of Knoxville appears obsessed with LGBT people in Tennessee. Early in the session, he filed the "Don't Say Gay in School" bill that would prohibit discussion or instruction in grades K-8 about homosexuality in the classroom. Now, the Senator and Rep. Matthew Hill of Jonesborough have introduced a bill that may discourage student participation in Gay Straight Alliances in Tennessee schools. The bill specifies that:

Each school shall notify the parents or legal guardians of all clubs and organizations available to students attending such school by prominently displaying the information in the school's student handbook, or other standard or policy guidebook that contains the policies and procedures of the school and is distributed annually.

Without directly saying so, this bill potentially targets lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning students looking for support, information and resources. The bill goes on to require that:

No school shall permit a student to become a member or participate in any activities of a club or organization if the parent or legal guardian of such student has tendered a written communication prohibiting such student from such membership or participation. In order to be valid, the written communication shall be signed and dated by the parent or legal guardian.

What does this mean? If a parent reviews published information about clubs and organizations from their child's school , it's up to the parent to express to the school in writing that they don't want their child to participate in certain clubs and organizations. The legislation does not require students to obtain a permission slip signed by the parent in order to participate in school clubs and organizations.

However, there is a risk that school administrators could interpret this law to mean that permission slips are a preferred avenue to adhere to this proposed law.

Imagine, if you will, a young gay student whose parents have expressed hostility toward LGBT people going to those same parents to ask them to sign a permission slip to join his school's Gay Straight Alliance. A permission slip system for school clubs could increase the isolation that many LGBT students experience.

Students who are LGBT or questioning may need a safe space in a school-sponsored Gay Straight Alliance to ask questions about human sexuality. It would be wrong to create unnecessary road blocks for students seeking information and resources. The proposed legislation could be strengthened with language explicitly stating that students are not required to obtain prior parental permission to participate in student clubs and organizations.
A permission slip system for school clubs and organizations could create an atmosphere of hostility in schools and in our community. With all the completed suicides among LGBT youth we heard about in 2010, we don't want this legislation to become life-threatening to the young people of Tennessee.

It's vital that each of us make a commitment to encourage our legislators to make schools safer for all students on March 1 during Advancing Equality Day on the Hill. Follow these easy steps to participate:

1. Call your legislators' offices to schedule your appointment (Find contact information here). Your legislator may not know his or her schedule when you call, so keep calling for an appointment up until the week before March 1.
2. When your appointment is made, enter your appointment details at Tennessee Equality Project's Legislator Appointment Tracker. Contact Michelle Bliss at Michelle@tnequalityproject.com with questions.

- Jonathan Cole

This post was edited after its original posting.

The Leadership Vacuum and "Trickle Down" violence against GLBT people

I'm noticing that more commentators are starting to explore the connection between anti-equality rhetoric in the political sphere and the notable cases of GLBT youth suicides due to bullying.

Take this passage from a post at Americablog by Gabriel Arana:

"The real charge is that anti-gay rhetoric in politics has a trickle-down effect that reinforces the type of anti-gay attitudes that make life tough for gay teens. The connection between the work of the National Organization for Marriage and the culture of homophobia that prevails in schools is much less direct, but it exists."

In other words, the aim of anti-equality rhetoric in politics is directly to impede law and policy that would advance civil rights for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people; it is not to promote physical violence against us. But physical violence against our community exists and it is worthy of asking whether anti-equality rhetoric in politics is one cause.

So let's look at the situation in Tennessee.

*Vonore, TN fire: I'm not aware of any high-ranking elected official in Tennessee who either uttered words of comfort to Stutte family who recently lost their home to anti-gay arson or made any public condemnation of this violent act. As far as I know, the last time any public official condemned violence that involved our community was when Knoxville Mayor Bill Haslam made these remarks about the shooting at Tennessee Valley Unitarian Universalist Church:

"It is often easy to make these tragic events, which are far too frequent, about the community in which they occur. Knoxville is a caring, compassionate city where diverse viewpoints are shared and respected. Every person, regardless of race, religion, age, sex, or sexual orientation is a person of human dignity and a valued member of our community."

He was prompted to do that, but at least he did it. Others condemned the shooting, but didn't mention our community.

*Lack of positive discourse: Apart from some members of the Memphis City Council, the Shelby County Commission, members of the Metropolitan Council of Nashville and Davidson County, a few state legislators and local school board members, you won't find many elected officials having anything positive to say about legislation that promotes equality in our state. With the exception of Nashville Mayor Karl Dean, you won't find anyone in the executive branch of government who is openly supportive.

Instead what you're more likely to find are remarks like these from Lt. Gov. Ron Ramsey:

“Tennessee has a direct interest in the outcome of this case,” said Lt. Governor Ramsey. “If upheld, it will be used to allow same-sex marriage in Tennessee. Over 80% of Tennessee voters chose to define marriage in our constitution as the union of one man and one woman. Tennessee has an important interest in protecting the ability of our state to define marriage and I strongly urge Attorney General Cooper to join other states fighting for that same right.”

I'd say that Tennessee GLBT and questioning youth are at particular risk because most of the public discussion they hear about themselves from leaders in their communities is of a very similar negative variety. It means their straight peers are absorbing it with the idea that there's something wrong with the GLBT kids. That's a short leap to bullying. We need more community and political leaders to speak out in specific ways for our state's GLBT community.

With particular attention to the Don't Say Gay bill: I shouldn't have to mention it, but I'm going to because it bears most directly upon the issue of bullying GLBT youth--Rep. Stacey Campfield's Don't Say Gay bill. Do I think Rep. Campfield wants youth to take their lives or to be bullied? No, I don't. But I do think his ideology about sexuality and gender makes him utterly and dangerously oblivous to the situation youth find themselves in. And it blinds him to the need for specific protections against the violence they face as well as the specific affirmation they need to overcome the despair that can drive them to take their lives.

Watch these videos again and reflect upon them in light of the youth who have taken their lives. Do I have to hit you over the head with the question: "How long are we going to tolerate legislation like this? When are we going to put this awful bill out of its misery and move on to take positive steps to address bullying and its very specific victims?"

-Chris Sanders

Quotation of the Day: "God is not going to turn you away because you' are gay."

Moriah May recounts the story of her suicide attempt and the mysterious woman who helped turn her life around.

“This woman, she’s an older lady and I didn’t get a real good look at her face, but she just hugged me. I kept trying to push her away ... and she just held onto me, like she knew that I was just breaking,” said May.

“She was moving my hair out of the way, kind of stroking it, and saying, ‘You’re beautiful. You’re a beautiful person. Why do you think you have to do this?’ And I said ‘because I’m gay’ and she said ‘God is not going to turn you away because you are gay.’

“It was just an inspiration to me that day to see a stranger just take me in like that. I didn’t feel like I deserved to be alive. This woman made me feel like I deserved to be here, and that was amazing. From that day, I felt like I should be alive.”